Since then, though, science has shown that these therapies are not helpful, and, in fact, often encourage more anger.

Ronald Potter-Efron, an anger-management expert and author of the new book, Healing the Angry Brain, shows us the reasons why that might be the case, and why people prone to anger should try to manage it rather than letting it all out.

Potter-Efron describes what happens neurologically when we get angry—how the limbic system gets activated, and our body gears up for fight or flight by increasing our heart rate, respiration, and blood flow to muscles, often without our conscious awareness.

However, other centers in the brain—for example, the frontal cortex and hippocampus—are responsible for shutting down the fight or flight response when it is clear that there is no real danger. Their activation can help stop aggression before it gets going and prevent one from saying or doing things one will later regret.

If your fight or flight response is easily activated, though, it’s harder to override. Potter-Efron suggests that we learn to interrupt the anger response before it gets out of hand and find more healthy ways to express anger. Many of his suggestions—e.g. time-outs, deep breathing, and self-talk—can calm down anger in the moment and also allow us to think better before we act. Others, such as general stress reduction and building empathy skills, work better in the long run.

Some people are more prone to anger because of biology or past experience, including early childhood trauma. Yet Potter-Efron insists that anyone can learn to handle anger more effectively with some conscious effort.

So, if you’ve got friends, coworkers, or family members who sometimes fly off the handle at the least provocation, don’t hand them a pillow; instead, hand them this book. Then, perhaps, it would be wise to duck…just in case.

Source: Greatergood.com

I know it’s hard to find even a few minutes a day to focus on yourself, especially if you have a demanding job, a family—or, most especially, both. I don’t think I did a particularly good job of balancing my needs with my family’s needs and my patients’ needs as my own children were growing up (they’re young adults now), and I see how hard this balancing act is for almost all of my patients. But I believe that if we don’t find ways to care for ourselves in the midst of our challenging lives, we’re going to have an extremely hard time restoring our health, reaching an appropriate weight, and enjoying the vigor and energy to which we are entitled.

Second, it’s when we feel worst about ourselves and our lives that many of us turn to food for comfort. These negative messages almost always come from our history—from parents who, perhaps without meaning to, communicated to us that we were fat, unattractive, or simply not lovable. Sometimes, too, food may have been used as a form of love. As a result, either we try to quiet our anxiety with food, or we turn to food when we really need something else—a hug, a peaceful moment, an expression of appreciation. Our turning to sweet and starchy foods may also result from blood sugar problems or from systemic candida, an overgrowth of yeast that can lead to sugar cravings. Low serotonin levels—involved in depression and sleep problems—may also lead to sugar cravings.

These patterns can be challenging to rewrite, but taking some time for ourselves—for what we feel like, what we want to do—can be the first step toward turning them around. Taking time for yourself might be the healthiest decision you ever make.

Marcelle Pick co-founded Women to Women in 1983 with a vision to change the way in which women’s healthcare is delivered. Marcelle undertakes a holistic approach that not only treats illness, but also helps women make choices in their lives to prevent disease. Visit: www.WomenToWomen.com.

It’s no surprise that if you ignore or effectively switch off your senses when you eat, that you are more likely to carry on eating past the point you are satisfied. For some reason people seem to think you should eat until you are full up, when in fact the sensation of your stomach over-distending is not full up, it’s over full! Typically this means you have eaten approximately 20-30% more than you actually needed, simply by not thinking!

Your stomach will send signals to your brain telling it when you have had enough, but it’s not difficult to override these and ignore them. How many times have you heard someone say “I just can’t stop myself!” Perhaps if the stomach delivered the equivalent of an electric shock to the brain when it is pleasantly satisfied, obesity wouldn’t be a problem; however, our grand design relies on us actually listening to our body’s signals and responding to them in a positive way. When we don’t — we suffer, and our body lets us know it in a variety of ways, not just visible excess body fat, but also with aches and pains and even illness or disease.

So how should you think about food? The first stage is to actually make sure you think about what you are eating and how it makes you feel when you are eating. The term comfort food is often used to describe chocolate, ice cream and many other high fat unhealthy foods, so what is comforting about increasing your risk of heart disease and cancer, quite apart from not being able to get in your jeans? The hypnotic suggestions we see constantly in ads and in movies showing foods such as ice cream as being a guaranteed cure for feeling sad are very powerful and creep with stealth-like efficiency into our unconscious minds to create an association between feeling comforted and that food. No surprise that next time you feel sad your unconscious mind pops up with the ingenious suggestion of eating ice cream to feel better!

The reality is that for most people who are overweight, they haven’t programmed their minds to think about how to get fat, but they have allowed other people to do it for them. Without thinking, they have opened up their minds to anyone with a credible marketing strategy, without any thought as to the consequences. When they end up with a body they don’t like—they wonder how on earth it happened and feel powerless to change it.

The good news is you CAN take control of your thinking and literally delete all the installed associations and replace them with a whole new program that can change the way you think and feel about food, and as a result completely change your shape and size, and more importantly drastically improve your health and the way you feel, what’s more it can be a very empowering experience to actually know that YOU have taken back control of your mind and as a result your body, and it’s much easier and far more enjoyable than dieting!

Janet Thomson is an outstanding life coach with 20 years experience working with clients on an individual basis and in groups and seminars. With a Masters in Nutrition and Exercise Science and full training in Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), she is also a TFT Diagnostic Therapist and a registered Clinical Hypnotherapist, giving her a totally unique blend of skills.

The H/W Ratio Teachers Forget To Mention In Class.
Put simply, the H/W ratio is the ratio between have-to tasks and want-to tasks and determines the health of our task list. To complicate matters, no preset ratio fits all and everyone has to find their ideal number. Hectic times can be fun and rewarding as long as refueling both body and soul is made a priority. Prolonged periods of having too much to do, slowly but steadily burns you up and traps you in a vicious cycle. The want-to tasks are suddenly not fulfilling anymore and become have-to‘s; increasing our have –to‘s even more.
No Couch Potato Voucher

This is by no means an excuse to become a couch potato. While the want-to tasks are the refueling agents of body and soul, the law of diminishing returns applies. The energy gained from refueling is less when tanks become close to full and without any real challenge the want-to‘s become less rejuvenating.

Create Your Funlist
Create a list of everything you love to do or want to try. Be imaginative and think about what exites you, the things that make you loose track of time and make you feel good. Categorize these ideas into easy, intermediate and advanced depending on how much effort these activities require.
Set Fun-Filled Goals

Setting fun-filled goals is as easy as making it a habit to choose at least one idea from your easy idea box every day, at least one from your intermediate box every week or month and one from your advanced box every year. Your ideal ratio, as well as ideal refueling activities, may change from time to ime depending on your circumstances. Choose as many as you need to boost your energy and enjoy setting and reaching your fun-filled goals.

About Anita Sig:
Anita is a professional coach and the author of the online Realize Success in All Areas of Life program that is a holistic approach to well-being, success, happiness and satisfaction with life. http://AnitaSig.com

Somewhere, way back then, someone hurt you, made you angry, resentful. If we retain that feeling we are condemned to filter each and every moment of our lives through the prism of that past anger. In fact, the more painful the experience was the more entrenched we are in that past. We become the definition “stuck.” No matter what you do you relive the same event over and over again, hoping for a different result. That is Albert Einstein’s definition of insanity. How do we get off this treadmill? Simple: REPLACE ANGER WITH FORGIVENESS. When you forgive someone, you grant yourself the freedom to leave that negative moment in time. You allow yourself to BE HERE NOW. You allow yourself to BE FREE. So start by making a list of all the people you are willing to forgive and watch your life transform.

The Frequency to Replace Fear with Courage
I have found that every person has a unique gift to give to the world. My friend Wayne Dyer is an incredible speaker and author; he has found his gift. My gift is not identical to Wayne’s, my gift is working and identifying frequencies in units of Consciousness. It would be foolish for me to try to be just like Wayne or Wayne to be just like me. Our talents are unique to each of us, and yet by working together, we can create an amazing synergy.

Your quest is to discover your own gift. Fear stops a would be concert vocalist from singing a single note, fear halts a gifted scientist from making an amazing discovery, fear prevents a person from quitting their mundane job and opening a thriving business. Fear is so powerful that it can prevent a person who has the capacity to heal from doing so. In essence, fear keeps people closed off from everyone and everything that could bring them joy and wholeness. I have found the vibration of fear has deep roots that can grow into a life filled with isolation, poverty, illness and despair. There is an alternative, and that is why we must: REPLACE FEAR WITH COURAGE.

The Frequency to Replace Grief with Gratitude
Grief has been described as the normal process of reacting to a loss. The strongest sense of grief occurs when we experience physical loss, such as the death of a loved one or a pet. You can dwell on your loss and grief, or you can focus on all the joy and love you have been given and how much that has contributed to your life. Consider this: How would you like to be remembered? Would you prefer to be the source of warmth and gratitude, or would you like the memory of you to elicit misery and despair? Obviously the more love and joy you were given, the more gratitude you need to express. It’s a no-brainer, particularly when you consider that everyone’s consciousness is still here.

Perhaps you lost a spouse, a parent, a child, a friend, a pet, the situation may be different and yet the solution is the same. You must elect to MOVE THROUGH GREIF BY WAY OF GRATITUDE. While AIM is a wonderful tool, it can not keep a loved one here forever. In order to heal we must stop living “back there” and instead move to the “here and now.” Gratitude can assist us in doing just that. We can remember fondly the memories we shared, and at the same time, step INTO THE PRESENT MOMENT AND CREATE NEW EXPERIENCES with the people and pets who are living.

The Frequency to Replace Desire with Acceptance
If, by dint of your focus, you manifest something you don’t truly need, you have simply wasted your precious time. Every cliché ultimately holds true. Yes, the grass is always greener. It is essential to remember that there is always someone on the other side saying the same thing. And yes, you can manifest your destiny; however, only if you perceive what is truly your destiny. Wisdom can only come from consciousness. To desire that which you do not need, to desire that which will not increase your consciousness is to desire as a child desires for ice cream. At some point, we must put aside childish things. WE MUST REPLACE DESIRE WITH ACCEPTANCE. In that we accept what it is we truly need, what it is we truly are. Then, we should desire just as hard as we possibly can.

About the Author:
Stephen Lewis, founder of EMC² and co-author of the novel Sanctuary: The Path to Consciousness has been exploring energetic balancing for more than 25 years. His path began with an interest in oriental philosophy combined with German psychiatry; specifically the work of W. Reich who believed energetic imbalance was the cause of all the pathology. To learn more visit www.emc2consciousness.com.

In addition, sweet potatoes contain high amounts of potassium. Potassium plays an important role in lowering blood pressure by ridding the body of excess sodium and regulating fluid balance. It is also an important electrolyte that helps regulate the natural rhythm of the heart, and maintains normal function of the brain and central nervous system.

Rich in beta-carotene
Beta-carotene or vitamin A is an important antioxidant. One medium sweet potato provides your body with the complete recommended daily allowance of vitamin A and then some. Vitamin A is useful in the prevention of several different types of cancer as it is one of the most potent antioxidants out there.

Beta-carotene also helps to internally protect your skin from sun damage by both deflecting and repairing cell damage caused by excessive UV exposure. It also is an excellent nutrient for eye health and has been linked to prevention of vision loss and macular degeneration.

A great source of manganese
Manganese is a little-discussed trace mineral that has some great health benefits. It is a pivotal component in the metabolism of carbohydrates which helps support healthy blood sugar levels. This can help stabilize the appetite for hours as opposed to the temporary satisfaction that comes with most other carbohydrates.

It also is a cofactor in enzymes that play an important role in the generation of energy as well as the efficient utilization of antioxidants. It is used for the treatment of anemia and is useful as a treatment for several premenstrual symptoms in women as well.

Rich in vitamins C and E
As if being one of the top vegetable sources of beta-carotene weren’t enough, sweet potatoes are also rich in vitamins C and E. These are potent antioxidant vitamins that play an important role in disease prevention and longevity.

Both vitamins also play a huge role in the health and beauty of your skin and hair, making them popular supplements. The combination of beta-carotene, vitamin E and vitamin C in one food makes the sweet potato one heck of a “beauty food”. These nutrients all contribute to a healthy, glowing complexion and vibrant hair.

• Pain, a burning sensation or feeling of urgency during urination
• Increased need to urinate
• Blood or pus in urine
• Chills
• Fever
• Pain during sex
• Nausea
• Malaise
• Foul smelling urine
• Abdominal cramps
• Lower abdominal pain
• Pain or burning during urination

Mustard oils for UTI treatment
Mustard oils derived from horseradish root and the nasturtium herb can be used as treatment for UTI, according to a 2006 study published in the Arzneimittel-Forschung journal. The study found that a combination of extracts from horseradish and nasturtium, two plants from the mustard family containing volatile mustard oils as the active ingredients, demonstrated antimicrobial properties, meaning they kill or inhibit the growth of microorganisms like bacteria. Researchers stated that the combination of these two supplements is a rational treatment for UTI and upper respiratory infections.

In a similar study published in the Arzneimittel-Forschung journal that same year, participants took either antibiotics or an herbal drug combining horseradish and nasturtium. The group who took the antibiotics experienced a 87.9 percent decrease in symptoms versus 81.2 percent in patients who took the herbal drug. However, researchers found that the herbal drug had a clear advantage because the participants taking the supplement needed fewer supportive procedures and administration of concurrent medication.

Grapeseed extract
Grapeseed extract may also be an effective treatment for UTI and other infections. The supplement promotes activity to fight bacteria that are causes of urinary tract infections.

Grapeseed extract also has antifungal and antiviral properties to treat infections caused by fungi or viruses. The University of Maryland Medical Center recommends taking 100 milligram capsules or five to 10 drops of liquid grapeseed extract three times a day for treating infections.

Ineffectiveness of antibiotics
Up to 40 percent of UTIs recur in women within six months and up to 50 percent within one year using traditional treatments, according to the University of Maryland Medical Center. Infections are usually caused by the same bacteria. Antibiotics only suppress the bacteria temporarily, allowing for another infection to strike again soon.

Continuing to take herbs, such as cranberry and horseradish, may prevent another infection by killing new bacteria that cause UTIs. Goldenseal can stop bacteria from adhering to the bladder walls and reduce the likelihood of an infection.

Additional herbs that support the urinary health
According to New Mexico State University, there are several urinary support herbs, including:

• Agrimony
• Couchgrass
• Elder flower
• Juniper
• Horsetail
• Lady’s mantle
• Plantain
• Saw palmetto
• Yarrow

Taking these herbs promotes overall urinary health. To specifically fight E. coli and resulting infections, people can use the following herbs:

• Calendula
• Chamomile
• Fennel
• Ginger
• Oregon grape root
• St. John’s wort
• Thyme
• Uva ursi
• Yarrow

About the author:
Sarka-Jonae Miller is a health writer and novelist. She was certified as a personal fitness trainer through the National Academy of Sports Medicine and the Aerobics and Fitness Association of America. She also worked as a massage therapist, group exercise instructor and assistant martial arts instructor.

Gut health is critical to good health
As more and more studies are proving, gut health is critical to both physical and mental health. In short, the immune systems of breast-fed babies were better able to cope with the wide range of bacteria in their intestinal tract. According to Robert Chapkin, professor of Nutrition, Biochemistry and Biophysics at the Texas A&M University, “Our findings suggest that human milk promotes the beneficial crosstalk between the immune system and microbe population in the gut, and maintains intestinal stability.”

A wealth of probiotics, or ‘good bacteria,’ in the gut can fight disease and do a lot to promote overall health. A 2004-2008 study done by the University of Bari in Italy, published in the journal Pediatrics showed that irritable bowel syndrome in children can be treated with a certain bacteria, in this case Lactobacillus rhamnosus GG (LGG). In fact, the sooner IBS is diagnosed and treated this way (before they are referred to a specialist), the better chance it can be alleviated and future complications, including psychiatric disorders, can be prevented.

Gut health plays a hugely critical role not only in fighting chronic disease, but also in warding off mental ailments such as anxiety, depression, and, yes, autism. The presence of too much ‘bad bacteria’ in the gut can be caused by a host of factors such as pharmaceutical antibiotics, consuming conventional antibiotic-filled meats, and even viruses introduced by vaccinations. In fact, it was researching the link between gut disorders and autism that got Dr. Andrew Wakefield in such hot water, eventually casting doubt on the safety of the MMR vaccination.

According to the Daily Mail, in 2006 a team from Wake Forest University School of Medicine found a link between the MMR vaccination and bowel disease, confirming and expanding the findings of Dr. Wakefield and his team. Of the first 82 children with both autism and bowel disease, 70 tested positive for the vaccine introduced measles virus. Team leader Dr. Stephen Walker wrote, “‘What it means is that the study done earlier by Dr Wakefield and published in 1998 is correct. That study didn’t draw any conclusions about specifically what it means to find measles virus in the gut, but the implication is it may be coming from the MMR vaccine. If that’s the case, and this live virus is residing in the gastrointestinal tract of some children, and then they have GI inflammation and other problems, it may be related to the MMR.”

The benefits of breast-feeding for both mother and child are too numerous to list – from mother’s decreased risk of cancer, heart attack, stroke, and diabetes to the child’s enhanced immune system because of, we now know, the beneficial gut bacteria breast-feeding fosters. With poor gut health being increasingly linked to autism, it stands to reason that the association between breast-feeding and good gut health could reasonably lead to proof that breast-feeding actually reduces the chance of autism in children.

About the author:
Scott Morefield is a blogger, writer, and researcher, primarily focused on how to raise healthy kids despite a system and status quo that makes it as difficult as possible. He and his wife, Kim, live in the hills of east Tennessee with their four small children. He holds an MBA from East Tennessee State University. Scott and Kim blog about parenting, marriage, healthy lifestyle, nutrition, and homesteading at www.amorefieldlife.com.

If you are one of those who often find your life a struggle, you may want to reverse the situation through harnessing the power of your subconscious mind. You do not have to settle with constantly being in self-sabotage, having a dark rain of cloud following you or living an uninspired existence.

Think of the subconscious mind as like a hard drive on a computer; virtually everything you see, hear, smell, taste, experience, learn, and even imagine gets stored in this internal hard drive. It also has a huge capacity. It stores archives of the past that you may not consciously aware of.

The subconscious mind can also influence actions. Reportedly, it drives 90% of your outward behavior, especially during stressful situation. Soldiers, for instance, do “what they are trained to do” in combat with little or no conscious thought as to what they are doing or even happening to them. On an everyday basis, you access your subconscious when you do things on the automatic, such as when you are driving or cycling.

The main thing to keep in mind is that the subconscious has no analytical ability. It simply stores what it is fed, then either provides back information as it is requested by the conscious mind, or influences the conscious mind based on what it has stored in it. Thus, it can be said to be the case of “garbage in, garbage out”. So, if you are to take charge the untapped power of the subconscious mind, you have to start feeding it good information.

If you have never tried to unleash this power, much less even heard of it, now is the time to do something. You can do so in the following ways:

- Remind Yourself Constantly of What You Really Desire
- Condition the Subconscious Mind to Focus on Why You Desire
- Avoid Letting Negative influences get in the way
- Access Creative Channels

Remind Yourself Constantly of What You Really Desire

“Only one thing registers on the subconscious mind: repetitive application – practice. What you practice is what you manifest.” Fay Weldon

Most of us want more money, but our subconscious often sees money as scarce. We have been programmed to perceive lack because of past conditioning and/or upbringing. So maybe we have the belief that “it is hard to make money” or that “life is a struggle”. If we want more money, we must remind ourselves that money is instead plentiful.

Many self-help gurus will tell a new student to get a money clip, and always keep a $100 bill on the outside of the clip. They may only have a $5 or a couple of singles inside, but their eyes see, and the power of the subconscious mind picks up on that $100. This creates an illusion of, which then forms an affirmation in the subconscious that money is plentiful, and will automatically influence the conscious mind to attract more.

But this idea is not limited to your money clip. Putting up pictures of houses you would love to live in, cars you would like to drive, places you want to visit, things you want to do all enter into and stoke the power of the subconscious mind. In short, create a vision board. Put up pictures on your bathroom mirror and your desk at work. With a clear picture of what you seek, your subconscious will silently but powerfully influence and guide you toward those desires.

Align with Abundance Consciousness

“Our subconscious minds have no sense of humor, play no jokes and cannot tell the difference between reality and an imagined thought or image. What we continually think about eventually will manifest in our lives.” Robert Collier

Doing this is different from the previous tip, as this involves using internal methods to tap into the power of the subconscious mind. Most people focus on the negative, or the lack they experience. And just as the subconscious can influence the conscious mind, the opposite can occur, but with greater result.

Remember, the subconscious does not analyze or filter the information it gets in any way. If all it gets are thoughts of how broke you always are, how much you hate your job, or that your significant other is out cheating when they are 20 minutes late from work, it will begin to feed back that negativity when you are not thinking about it.

Instead, align with abundance consciousness by reprograming yourself with beliefs that are positive. One way that you can also do so is by framing your thoughts as questions. Instead of bemoaning how broke you are, ask, “how can I make more money” or even better, make it a concrete number such as “how can I make $5000 this month?”. Your subconscious will not be fed with the words “broke” or “poor”. Instead it will be fed with “make more money”.

Avoid Letting Negative Influences Get In the Way

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

Avoid letting outside influences and people affect your energies. People who are close may turn out to be the worst offender. Their negative attitude may affect you, especially if you are not aware. Note that the idea is not to blame these people but to create awareness that you need to establish clear personal energy boundaries especially where relationships are toxic.

Remember, the subconscious has no analytical ability, and it will let negative words, energy, and images right in where they will begin to exert their influences. While it is impossible to avoid all negativity, minimize it if you want to truly harness the power of the subconscious mind. Better yet, work on addressing your negative emotions such as anger, hurt, shame or frustration. As you gain strength, you will invariably find yourself less affected by others.

Access Creativity

“Creativity involves breaking out of established patterns in order to look at things in a different way.” – “Edward de Bono”

If life seems dull for you, it may be because you are not accessing your creative channels sufficiently for inspired living. Your subconscious mind is the powerhouse for creativity. It is where you can access ideas for problem solving, new inventions and breakthrough solutions.

Award-winning Canadian singer-songwriter, Alanis Morissette said, “I saw music as a way to entertain people and take them away from their daily lives and put smiles on their faces, as opposed to what I see it being now, which is a way for me to actually communicate, and a way for me to tap into my subconscious.” Then, there are also many talented people such as Thomas Edison, Vincent Van Gogh, Paul Klee and Beethoven who are known for tapping into their subconscious mind to enhance their creative abilities.

The Power of Your Subconscious Mind

“Infinite riches are all around you if you will open your mental eyes and behold the treasure house of infinity within you. There is a gold mine within you from which you can extract everything you need to live life gloriously, joyously, and abundantly.”

The first time I was introduced to the idea that the subconscious mind holds much power is through reading The Power of Your Subconscious Mind by Joseph Murphy. I recommend reading the classic, if you have not done so.

Ever since I learned about how to harness the power of the subconscious mind, I have been living in greater empowerment. I found out that there are many ways to access the subconscious; namely via dreaming, meditation, visualization, intuition and so on. Obviously, nothing beats learning it through practical application.

A big problem with our education system is that it does not teach our students to avail themselves of their subconscious abilities. Now that we are adults, we have to learn to harness the power ourselves. In addition, as parents, we need to learn to apply it before we can hope to teach our children. It is a great gift that we can offer to our children. For a start, I highly recommend the comprehensive The Silva Life System. Do check it out!

Source: www.AbundanceTapestry.com

That statement can be somewhat overwhelming, but when you take time to truly be intentional in building a strong relationship – your child will reap the benefits.

Finding ways to celebrate your child, especially if you have more than one takes time and some detective skills. Determining what makes your child ‘tick’ and their unique characteristics helps to ensure parents and children stay connected through all ages of their upbringing.

Here are a few tips on enhancing the bond with your child that you can start today.

Learn Your Child’s Love Language
You have probably heard of Gary Chapman’s book, The Five Love Languages which helps couples learn to speak the other persons love language. We all “feel” love differently and when you can determine how best to “give” that love to your partner so they will truly feel it, your effort is receive positively. Well, the same concept can be adapted with your children. He has a book specifically for parents to determine how their child gives and receives love.

There are 5 main categories, Physical Touch, Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Quality Time and Gifts.

Maybe you are a parent who hugs and cuddles with your child thinking that you enjoy it and they must enjoy it and know how much you love them. But if you child’s main love language is Acts of Service, they are not getting the same result out of that action that you may be intending, thus you are missing that big connection of relating your love to that child.

Take a look at the book, The Five Love Language of Children and see if you can determine your child’s primary and secondary love languages. If you have trouble, there is even a great quiz that you can give your child in the back of the book that will help determining it for you.

Date Your Kids
We hear a lot about making time for date nights for couples, but dates with your children are just as important. Spending time together as a family is wonderful, but you will also learn so much about your children if you are able to spend time alone with each of them on an occasional basis.

This works well for both parents, not just moms. Find out what your child likes to do and then set up a time once a month to enjoy that activity with your child. Make sure to write it on your calendar just like you would any other important appointment and let your child know so they can look forward to that time too.

Spending regular one on one time will increase communication with your child and help them feel incredible value. I can remember one particular time where my son and I chose a book to read together for our date time. We each would read a portion and then we would go to a local coffee shop, grab a snack and discuss what we read. This may not appeal to all children, but this was a huge time for me to understand and hear my son’s perspective on a really interesting social topic. I would never have learned these things had I not taken the time to spend it with him.

Establish a Special Name
Create a special name for your child that is positive and special that you can use between each other. Use the name as a simple reinforcement of your love. You can even come up with a special code word or sign that only you two understand.

When my son was young and began swimming with the older kids on a swim team, he was very nervous. So I decided to have a special “signal” that I gave him every time he went up to start a race. He would find me in the crowd and look for me to give him “our sign”. Even 8 years later, we enjoy sharing the sign and it triggers for him some special memories. I also have given all of my children little names of endearment, which are theirs alone.

Be Spontaneous
Plan your daily routine so that there are some opportunities for you to have relaxed, unhurried, unstructured time together every day. It seems families today are rushed from one activity to the next and have very little downtime or space in their day to be spontaneous, so be intentional in making that happen.

Create space in your calendar.
Have some fun activities in mind that you can surprise your family with. Being spontaneous was something I did on a regular basis a few years back, then I began to really cherish my routines and really fell off the wagon when it came to switching gears. I realized that I was losing a lot of precious time where significant memories could be made, so now I try really hard to do the unexpected.

Just today, as we are off on a little break on the Pacific Coast, I asked who wanted to go for a walk in the pouring rain! They looked at me like I was crazy, but when they knew I was serious we all went out, got entirely soaked on our walk and came back to get warmed up with dry clothes and hot chocolate.

Celebrate Birthdays
Birthdays are the perfect time to show kids how much they mean to you. This does not mean you have to rent out the skating rink, invite the entire class of 30 kids and provide pizza. What it does mean is finding ways that are meaningful to your family.

I find that simple is usually best. Some of my fondest memories of birthdays from my younger days are when I had a couple friends over, my mom made a homemade cake and we played a few games.

I am a firm believer that family celebrations which are simple and full of tradition are best. I recently read a great book by Mary Ostyn, A Sane Woman’s Guide to Raising a Large Family where she shared how each of her children get breakfast in bed on their birthday, delivered by the entire family. The person whose birthday it is is made to feel like a king or a queen and is even given a bell in order to call for assistance at any point during the meal. How cool is that? This can be a fun tradition to begin in your house – especially if you might get in on the birthday routine too!

Source: TheConfidentMom.com

This likely comes from the caring parts of you – but it’s not going to work.

Sure, this works for us men.

We are masters at analyzing a situation then changing whatever needs to be changed to remove the unnecessary pain of the situation.

Perhaps you’ve had a time at work where you were unhappy until you realized that your boss or coworker was taking advantage of you. You then determined that the best way to handle this problem is to be upfront and say something to your boss. You mustered up the guts, tell your boss what you think (not in an offensive or aggressive manner), and it’s over.

Problem solved.

You have also likely applied this same approach with your wife.

You realize there’s something you’re not happy about with your wife, so you muster the guts to tell her. You get it off your chest.

You then think maybe she wants something more or different from you, so after you tell her what you want from her you ask, “What do you want from me?”

This seems fair to a man. Right?

But it’s not.

It’s a no-win situation for a wife.

Why?

Because what she really wants is a man who can figure it out for himself.

She wants a man who loves her, and escorts her with his love, without having to ask her what she wants all the time.

A fundamental aspect of the feminine’s desire is to not have to figure things out for her man and guide him in his own life. She wants to be able to trust him in his direction and choices.

There are times when she wants to help you figure things out, but far more often she wants to feel your presence and love without having to tell you what she wants.

Imagine it’s your wife’s birthday. If it were your birthday you’d love it if she would do anything you wanted – so you think she’d like that too. You say, “For your birthday today, we will do anything you want. We can go anywhere and do anything. And I’ll even do anything for you. So what do you want to do?”

The problem, this is the opposite of most women’s ideal birthday gift.

Most women would be far more excited if you were to say, “You’ve got an hour to pack your bags. Don’t ask where we’re going, but we’ll be gone the entire weekend. Everything is taken care of. You simply need to pack your bags and leave the rest to me. I’m going to give you the best birthday present you’ve ever had.”

This would speak to the deepest part of her feminine core.

The part that wants to be able to relax and surrender knowing that she is taken care of and showered with your love. Then, she can simply enjoy without having to plan everything or analyze every option to decide which one is best.

One of the best ways you can serve your wife is by helping her surrender to the force of love so that she can open her heart, be the love that she is and give this love which naturally flows from her essence.

So fellas, be full in your loving … so strong and stable in your presence with her that she can simply let go and surrender.

She likely has to be in her masculine enough throughout the day, taking care of a career, or kids, or a home … don’t make her have to do the same with you.

With you, let her be what the feminine is … pure energy, pure motion, and pure love.

Corey Allen is the editor of Simple Marriage as well as a licensed marriage & family therapist. While he has a Ph.D. in Family Therapy, he only occasionally likes to be called doctor.

An excellent alternative to store-bought mouthwashes which can contain chemicals and/or preservatives.

500 ml Distilled Water
2 drops cinnamon essential oil
2 drops peppermint essential oil
2 drops spearmint essential oil
4 drops tea tree essential oil
1 tsp vodka or witch hazel (as a preservative)

Rinse 1 – 2 tbsp. around in the mouth thoroughly for 30 – 60 seconds then spit out.
Shake before using.

Best kept in a in a sealed glass bottle or jar. If unused after 6 months, keep refrigerated.
*Do not swallow!

Kreg Weiss is a co-founder of My Yoga Online and certified Hatha Yoga Teacher. Several years ago, Kreg discovered yoga while teaching health and fitness. Yoga dramatically transformed Kreg’s approach to teaching health and wellness as well as changed his personal life bringing new direction in finding physical, mental, and spiritual growth.