Men Are Pigs and Other Lies

I’m not sure when it happened, but at some point I began suspecting that our culture has turned the tide on “anti-feminism” and has become “anti-male”.  As a mother of a young man who is remarkable, I find this repulsive.

It’s so insidious that its likely we won’t even notice it. I’ve noticed it myself at various times. First, I started noticing it in male bashing commercials. Then, in the dialogue of my friends and female clients. The jokes are so commonplace that they have become as real as the air we breathe.

We have become so inured to it that we don’t even notice it. We assume boys are quicker to anger, and are less able to control their sexual impulses.  We laugh about a man’s inability to know how to hold a baby (never mind that he may never have been allowed to hold a child before).

This week, on Oprah! I was shocked to have it thrown out inadvertently both  by Oprah herself, and the mental health professional on her show.  Dr. Drew Pinsky, an addiction specialist and host of the VH1 reality series Sex Rehab with Dr. Drew, said he thinks women are “the better part of humanity, containing all the good things about humans” or some such nonsense.  What a sad statement of our culture that even our men are convinced they are less-than!

Oprah, being her sincere, caring self was able to offer a lot of empathy for the young woman on her show who had behaved disrespectfully toward all the men in her life.  But in the next sentence, to her other guest, she said, that, well, in getting better (in the sex addictions) women would learn to avoid the “jerks”.  So, the bottom line is, she can have empathy for the females who behave irresponsibly and cruelly toward men, but the men who demonstrate the same behavior are “jerks”!

Have you noticed how its OK for women to hit men on TV or have a mean spirited laugh at the dad’s expense? Even in the politically correct arena of commercials, men are acceptable punching bags … for women. When’s the last time you heard of a wife being arrested for domestic violence. Plenty of (ex)husbands have the bruises but know 1) the system doesn’t really care and 2) that going to war won’t end well.

We have to change how our culture views men. Individually, we all know its wrong. It’s our collective conscience that has to change.Until we find a way to have compassion for all us, and drop the habit of bashing men (or women) our divorce rate will continue to climb, and men will continue to have “anger issues” (said as if they have no reason to be angry!).

What do you think?

Melody Brooke, MA, LPC, LMFT is the author of “Oh WOW this changes everything”, speaker, workshop presenter and counselor. She is also the producer and writer of That’s Not How It’s Done a revolutionary screenplay about men and their role as fathers. Melody’s 19 years work with individuals, couples and families has provided her with a unique approach to solving clients problems, and looking at our relationships. Learn more about the film and Melody at: thatsnothowitsdone.com